selah... part 2...chapter 76

the thing about religions freaks is that they fire you over a period of time...it is FUNNER that way .

fun - joy they call it .

selah part 2...chapter 75

it was time...time for smoky the bear to get a new water postal...time for reality to wear a new cloak of bullshit....time to gouge out another piece of my flesh and stick it on a highway post .

is this the end of stu strang and the inner-city yutt club ??? hold your bird...cradle your testicles and let us find out :

selah...part 2...chapter 74

...after the emotional flogging...we went to see PETER PAN  .

...THE PAN HAD BEEN STOLEN .

selah...part 2...chapter 73

CHRISTMAS...the kids fuck everything up...do UNGODLY shit with the hot dogs...then some ''old bat'' accuses me of drinking all day instead of pushing kids off of bridges and recording the " splat '' ...or something like that .

...she didn't even open the vibrator i got her for self - maintenance .

selah...part 2...chapter 72

i dressed all the south end girls in GHETTO...then got THE BOARD OF DIRECTORS to smell their feet .

...my plan worked !!!

selah...part 2...chapter 71

...do you know what an ANGLICAN CHURCH needs ??? a dead cat to check the lost and found .

selah...part 2...chapter 70

do you want to know why i rigged a lottery ??? because i fucking felt like it , that ' s why .

i told the fucking BOARD OF DIRECTORS that i tried to stop a kid from jumping off of the billion foot bridge...and do you know what they said ??? how many girls are going to intermediate basketball , that 's what .

screw '' em all...and just for the record...basketball sucks .

selah...part 2...chapter 69

in may of 1991...i fuck - a - lee - duck - duck - ed my way into THE DOWNTOWN JESUS DISPATCHER and rigged a bicycle lottery and a walk - a - thong .

the kids remained faithful and loyal to their drugs .

selah...part 2...chapter 68

pinball is a lot like masturbation...but more expensive .

as a boy...i would fuck-a-lee-duck duck down to the shopping centre just to play a few games... pinball , that is...the other game would have to wait .

there were big ruff guys there...nobody wanted to try their luck .

i still remember buying my first copy of RUMOURS...Stevie Nicks , to me...looked like the kind of lady who would have an alpine hound or two .

selah...part 2...chapter 67

one of my favourite chapters of my life was...arcade pinball...right after the spiritual segment of our SATURDAY NIGHT .

often accompanied with a meat sandwich...we would let that fucker rip .

the machine would shake so intensely...that some of the WIZARDS would get a hard - on .

selah...part 2...chapter 66

for months THE OCTOPUS 5 would play football and in a large rectangle object we refer to as a gym...then it happened...we gave birth...and were now...THE OCTOPUS 6 .

we celebrated with cake .

selah...part 2...chapter 65

in the spring of 1991...all the little fuckers were gone...all but five...we refer to these as THE OCTOPUS 5...we still do not know why .

selah...part 2...chapter 64

beautiful downtown halifax...a 300 pound pop cycle fell 10 stories out of the sky and missed my frontal lobe by inches...batman was nowhere to be seen .

selah...part 2...chapter 63

spring came...or was winter just breathing fast ???